Wedding of Robert Sadowski & Jessica Roberts

Grace and peace to you in the name of our Triune God, who comes to us today in love. Amen.

1 Corinthians 13:4-8a Love is patient, love is kind. It does not envy, it does not boast, it is not proud. ⁵ It is not rude, it is not self-seeking, it is not easily angered, it keeps no record of wrongs. ⁶ Love does not delight in evil but rejoices with the truth. ⁷ It always protects, always trusts, always hopes, always perseveres. ⁸ Love never fails.

Dear friends and family, and especially you, Robert and Jessica on this, your wedding day.

You have chosen some beautiful words about love for your wedding text.

Some of the most astute observers of what love is like - are children: One child for example said that “Love is when a girl puts on perfume and a boy puts on shaving cologne and they go out and smell each other.”

In our society love is often about - how each other smells, how each other looks, how each other kisses, how we “feel” about each other.

And that’s OK. Feelings are important in love. One child said: “Lovers will just be staring at each other and their food will get cold. Other people care more about the food.” Another child said: “It’s love if they order one of those desserts that are on  fire. They like to order those because it’s just like how their hearts on fire.”

Why would that be true? Because of the way those who love each other “feel” about each other.

Listen to it again: “Love is patient. Love is kind. Love does not envy. It does not brag. It is not arrogant. It does not behave indecently. It is not selfish. It is not irritable. It does not keep a record of wrongs. It does not rejoice over unrighteousness but rejoices with the truth. It bears all things, believes all things, hopes all things, endures all things.”

Our present culture is all about feelings. It doesn’t matter what the truth is or what is logical. All that matters is how you “feel” about something. But, notice how St. Paul describes love here. He isn’t talking about feelings or emotions. He is describing actions and behaviors. This is what love “looks like.”

Love, at its best is far more than emotion. It’s action. It’s something you do. God tells us: “Love is ... love does … love does not”! All actions! Love is more than a feeling it is a verb, it’s an action, it’s an act of our wills.

These aren’t feelings, these are actions, behaviors. This is what love “looks like.”

However, because we are sinners, we each display a lack of love toward God and each other. And, on this, your wedding day, you are bringing two sinners together into one household. With one sinner, there is disunity between a holy God and a miserable sinner. Now, when you unite two sinners together into the same home, there will be even more disunity.

As sinners, we are incapable of love. What does that look like in a marriage? It means that you are impatient, rude, envious, prideful, arrogant, indecent, selfish, irritable, and recalling of previous wrongs. That does not sound like fun. That sounds like a recipe for disaster.

And, that’s what we see in many marriages today. They end in disaster and divorce because two selfish, egotistical, impatient, pride-filled sinners. They may talk about love, but when sin is involved, love can only be selfish. Love can only be turned in on oneself.

That’s probably not what you wanted to hear on your wedding day.

But, you wanted your wedding in church for a reason. You know yourselves. You know you need help. You understand, deep down, that you can’t do this whole marriage thing on your own. You cannot fulfill the beautiful words of your wedding text on your own. You need to go outside of yourselves.

If you are sick, you go to the doctor. If you eat unhealthily, you go to a nutritionist. If you discover problems in your relationship, you go to a counselor. Robert and Jessica, you went through pre-marriage counseling with me, you worship in our church, you wanted a Christian wedding ceremony, because you realize you are sick with sin. You need Jesus, who is the Great Physician of body and soul. You eat spiritually unhealthy food. You need Jesus who gives you Himself as the Bread of Life and the Water of Life. You will have problems in your marriage. You need Jesus, who gives you His Holy Spirit as the Counselor.

You are being married in church because today isn’t about the bride or even the groom. Today is about Jesus Christ being the center of your married life. The sermon isn’t about giving you all kinds of cute dos and don’ts of marriage. The sermon is about Jesus, who is your Savior from sin. Try as hard as you might, you are going to argue, fight, go to bed angry, be prideful, jealous, and immature. You will demonstrate the opposite of love.

The only One who can spare you this angst and salvage your marriage is Jesus. He is all about love.

Jesus is about you coming to Him in repentance, admitting your pride, jealousy and lack of love for your spouse. You beg for mercy. You ask for forgiveness.

Then, Jesus grants you that forgiveness. He removes your sins. He replaces your sins with His righteousness. He gives you the power contained in His holy Word and the motivation of the Holy Spirit to live lives as forgiven and sanctified children of God. Jesus does this for you out of love.

God’s love for you can make your love for one another last a lifetime.

So, what is God’s love? It isn’t about emotions or feelings. God defines love as commitment, as an action, as a sacrifice.

Listen to the Bible’s definition of love: “This is love: not that we loved God, but that he loved us and sent his Son as an atoning sacrifice for our sins. Dear friends, since God so loved us, we also ought to love one another.” (1 John 4:10-11) 

If you walk through the doors of the Truman Library in Independence, Missouri, you can view artifacts and documents from some of the most consequential years in the 20th Century. In room after room, on shelf after shelf, you can research the end of World War II, the beginning of the Cold War, the rebuilding of Europe, the Korean War, and everything in between.

Somewhere in that library, you also will find a collection of over 1,300 letters. These letters, however, have little to do with historic events of the 20th Century. They are, nevertheless, something extraordinary. You see, President Truman made it a point to write a letter to his wife, Bess, every day they were apart for any reason.

Many of the letters are simple updates on minor things. Others, of course, do mention world leaders. But it's the sheer number of letters that makes the real impact. To see those letters all together is to see the evidence of one man's steady, faithful love for his wife.

Jesus Christ, your Savior, God’s Son, fought this world’s dictator. He entered a World War that has lasted thousands of years. He even bled and died to crush that devilish dictator once and for all. Jesus was committed. He acted. He sacrificed himself. He died so that we might live eternally.

God demonstrated His great love for you with His Son on the cross. But, God’s love for you is often not in the big and the dramatic. Very often, His love for you is in the regular routine of life. He's the One who sees to it that you get something to eat. He's the One who sees to it that you have a place to sleep and something to wear. He's the One who sees to it that you receive an encouraging word when you need it. Most of all, He's the One who sees to it that His forgiveness of your sin is fresh and new for you every day.

It's all about Jesus. You will get up early to make breakfast for your spouse in response to Jesus putting you first in His life. Jessica, you will be able to trust Robert’s leadership, since he will be putting you up on a pedestal, just as Jesus put us on a pedestal as His bride. Robert, you will love and sacrifice for Jessica, in the same way Jesus sacrificed Himself for us. You are establishing a lifelong commitment to each other in response to Christ’s eternal commitment to you.

Through faith in Jesus, that’s the faithful, steady, committed love God has for you. It's a love that is at work in your life every single day. It’s a love that will allow you to love each other until God parts you through death.  

“Commitment” – that is the definition of Christ’s love for you. “Commitment” – that is the definition of your love for one another. Amen.