The Royal Wedding - The Betrothal

Maybe it was the budding beauty that he saw in her eyes, or maybe it was her smile.  Maybe he was impressed with how she carried herself as she did her daily chores.  She came from a good family lineage, that’s for sure.

Romance and courtship did not play a large role in marriage in ancient times.  In many cases, parents would choose a man for their young daughter.  But it doesn’t mean that a young couple were just thrown into a marriage.  Parents aren’t blind.  And sometimes they can figure out the hints and sly clues that their children give them.  And if they approve of a budding love affair?....

Did Joseph, a yong man probably in his 20's, have eyes for Mary, probably a young girl in her early teens?  We don’t know the details.

But what probably happened was this: Joseph asked his parents if he could marry his distant relative.  The parents probably considered her ancestry and her resources.  Since Nazareth wasn’t filled with wealth, the financial matters of marriage were probably not high on the priority list.  That he wanted to Mary, an offspring of King David, probably made them very happy.

Then Joseph’s father made a call on Mary’s parents.  The fathers would do most of the negotiating.  Marriage was a covenant between two families, not just the bridal couple.  It was, to say the least, a serious matter that went beyond the marriage of two children.

When the negotiating was completed, Mary and Joseph gathered with their parents.  The parents spoke a benediction over them.  Then they shared a cup of wine together.  They were legally betrothed. 

Betrothal was far more binding than today’s engagement.  Even though they weren’t married yet, only divorce could break the betrothal.  Had Joseph died, Mary would be considered his legal widow.  And we all know how Joseph felt when he heard Mary was pregnant: he thought she had committed adultery.

Betrothal was the promise made.  For richer or poorer, for better or worse, in sickness and in health, you were now connected to your betrothed.  You weren’t married yet, but you relished the promise of what was to come. 

Our Advent series is about the Royal Wedding.  The Bible makes clear that the Lord gave us marriage as a picture of the intimate union between Christ and his Bride, the holy Christian Church.  Through marriage he wants us to know that he is our God who desires intimacy with us, who wants to be in our hearts, who wants the closest relationship possible with us.  We often say that our spouse knows us better than any one else, but God knows us better than our spouse...and better than we know ourselves.    

The Betrothal we want to talk about is the one that the Lord made with us...

And it happened in the most unbelievable way...

They had it all - a union with the God who formed and fashioned them from the dust and from a rib.  Theirs was a daily, joyful walk with their Creator, and their visits with him in the evening hours must have been marvelous.  But they gave it up so that they could be gods themselves.  And what did they get?  Fear.  Mistrust.  They got death.  And in this worst condition, the Lord God pledged his faithfulness to them.  He made a promise that one of their Descendants would undo the damage they had done.  He betrothed himself to them and declared that he would never break his pledge. 

Now, the words of God’s promise here are important, and help us see the marriage imagery here. For here, God calls the one who would come and bruise Satan’s head her offspring. Hers, and hers alone. There is no mention of “his” offspring here. His mother would be a woman, but he would have no earthly father.   It’s a situation to which one would ask: How can this be?  Which was Mary’s very question when the angel Gabriel came to her and told her that she was going to be a mother.  How could she be a mother when there was no he?  And Gabriel answers: God will be his Father. He will be both the Son of God and a son of man.  God and man united in one flesh.

This promise was fulfilled at Christmas, when in Jesus, God and man become one flesh, and when the one flesh God-man crushes the serpent’s head by ascending the cross to atone for the sin of the world. That in him, the sin that separates may separate no more. That in Him, we be reconciled to God through the forgiveness of our sins. 

When God spoke his promise in the garden, everyone listened.  No one could argue or debate his words.  You, serpent, who caused this adultery and made Eve your friend and lover, will crawl on the ground.  Satan couldn’t argue.  Then he said to is creation, I will make you enemies with the serpent once more, and make you my friends again.  And all they could do was say, Thank you and Amen.

Isaiah likens us as a newborn baby, helpless and covered in blood.  We contributed nothing to the relationship that God was creating.  And like Adam and Eve, he found us when we were most undesirable.    And yet, he found us.  And he cleaned us up and cared for us. 

 God did not reject you, He baptized you. He washed you in water and the Word. For to do so, Paul told us tonight in Ephesians, is why Christ has come. For you were foul and wretched and dead in your trespasses and sin, until your Savior took you to Himself and made you one with him - betrothed to him.  One flesh, that your sins be forgiven.  One flesh, that the separation between you and God be overcome.  One flesh, that you be his in a union that death can never end. For joined to him, all that is His is now yours: his life, his salvation, his victory over sin, death, and the devil - all are yours in him.

For as a husband and wife give themselves completely to one another, so has your Savior given Himself completely to you. Even though you had nothing to give to him. St. Paul calls that a mystery. And indeed it is.

But what Christ has also done is unite us to each other.  We are not a whole bunch of brides, but one bride, the holy Christian Church. And so united in Christ, we are also united to one another, betrothed to each other, to give ourselves completely to one another.  As we are reconciled to Christ, we are reconciled to one another.  As we are forgiven through Christ, so we are now blessed to forgive one another.  As there is no yours and mine in our relationship with Jesus, there is no place for pride in our relationship with each other.  As there is no aloneness in joy or in sorrow in Christ, we are able to share joy and sorrow with one another, caring for each other, lifting each other in our burdens.  We are, in Christ’s Church, betrothed to each other. 

And when we fail to live as his bride - when we roll around in the slime pit of sin, when selfishness gets the better of us, when we follow in the footsteps of our first parents and consider the words of Satan and the world more trustworthy than the Word of God - what then?  Divorce? No.  Though we be unfaithful, our Bridegroom remains faithful.  He will not deny us the forgiveness we need, and rejoices to welcome us back. So great, so remarkable his love.  And we live in this promises:  what God has joined together, let no man separate. (Matt 19:6)

And so to this Royal Wedding, you have not only been invited, you are the guest of honor. The Bride, in royal splendor. And do not let the fact that we don’t always look the part fool you.  Things are not always what they appear - things are what God calls them. You are a royal bride. 

But what we look forward to the most we don’t have yet.  Like a betrothal, the marriage is not quite complete.   In the season of Advent, we wait like the betrothed for the bridegroom to come.  Keep your lamps trimmed and burning, waiting with all the joy and expectation for the wedding to come.  Live like you belong to him now, because you are already his.  You are betrothed.  That’s his promise to you.  And he always keeps his promises.  Amen.