Old Lutheran


Check out Old Lutheran. The center for Lutheran pride (but not too proud). It is a great site for lots of fun Lutheran related items. Martin and Katy bobbleheads, Reformation t-shirts, sweatshirts, sweatbands, baby clothing, coffee mugs, Luther's seal napkins and much more.

This is from their humor section.

A Lutheran Primer

by Les "Gutenberg" Stahlke
In the Lutheran Comedy Classic: "Martin Luther's Last Surviving Classmate"

Look!
Look and see!
See Luther run!
Run, Luther, run!
Luther ran!
Oh, oh!
It is raining!
It is pouring!
See the lightning!
Hear the thunder!
See Luther get scared!
See Luther hide under that big tree!
See Luther pray to St. Anne.
"If you save me," prayed Luther, "I will become a monk, okay?"
"That's okay with me," said St. Anne, "but if you don't get out from under that tree, you will be a friar!"

Oh, oh!
See the lightning hit the tree!
See the tree get rent asunder!
"Ach! Yammer!" said Luther.
See Luther clearly define Law and Gospel.
See Luther go to a monastery.
See Luther learn that indulgences are wrong.
"Wholly unnecessary, Batman," said Luther.
See Luther write 95 Theses.
See Luther nail the Theses to the church door.
See Luther bang his hammer.
Bang your hammer, Luther, bang your hammer.
See Luther bang the wrong nail. "Uff dah!" said Luther.

Oh, oh!
Now the Pope is mad.
See the Pope send Luther an angry letter.
It is a Papal Bull.
"That is a lot of bull," said Luther.
See Luther barbecue the Pope's Bull.
"You burned my Bull," said the Pope.
Now you will have to go to a Diet of Worms.
(A Diet is a long synodical convention with no meals.)

Oh, oh!
See King Charles tell Luther to shut up.
"I can't," said Luther.
"Then recant," said King Charles.
"I can't recant," said Luther.
"Then go start the Missouri Synod!" said King Charles.
"Oh, goody," said Luther, "now I can get married."
See Luther look for a wife.
See Luther find nun.
See Luther and Kitty get married.
See Kitty get morning sickness.
"What does this mean?" said Luther.
"We shall have a little Lutheran soon," said Kitty.
"Is this true," said Luther, "or are you just ribbing me?"
Kitty said, "This is most certainly true."

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