How to get rid of your pastor

Not long ago a well-meaning group of laymen came from a neighboring church to see me. They wanted me to advise them on some convenient and painless method of getting rid of their pastor. I'm afraid, however, that I wasn't much help to them.

At the time I had not had the occasion to give the matter serious thought. But since then I have pondered the matter a great deal, and the next time anyone comes for advice on how to get rid of a pastor, here's what I'll tell him:

1. Look the pastor straight in the eye while he's preaching and say "Amen" once in a while and he'll preach himself to death.
2. Pat him on the back and brag on is good points and he'll probably work himself to death.
3. Rededicate your life to Christ and ask the preacher for some job to do, preferably some lost person you could win to Christ, and he'll die of heart failure.
4. Get the church to unite in prayer for the preacher and he'll soon become so effective that some larger church will take him off your hands.

~Quoted in You and Your Pastor, Radio Bible Class
The Pastor as a Theologian, J. Reed, in Walvoord: A Tribute, Donald Campbell, ed., Moody, 1982, p. 273.


Luther's ten qualifications for the minister:
1) He should be able to teach plainly and in order.
2) He should have a good head.
3) Good power of language.
4) A good voice.
5) A good memory.
6) He should know when to stop.
7) He should be sure of what he means to say.
8) And be ready to stake body and soul, goods and reputation on its truth.
9) He should study diligently.
10) And suffer himself to be vexed and criticized by everyone.

Comments

  1. My main qualification is that he be a believer. I knew one for sure that wasn't. In a book that he wrote in retirement, he said that he didn't like to give a sermon on Easter Sunday because he didn't like to preach about fairy tales. So instead of a sermon he had some people do interpretive dance. Yes it is a Lutheran church!

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